In real life, I’m a Wedding and Events Manager – fancy smanshy title for your Wedding Coordinator. In my times, I have seen some crackers and some shockers. I have heard some great speeches and I have heard some cringe worthy moments for example:
ING. SomethING, NothING, see the ING sound? PING, DING, BLING. More examples of ING sound. INK – PINK, LINK, CLINK These words use the INK sound. SomethINK is not a word. NothINK is not a word. ING – Put an ‘R’ in front of it and it say RING. I can guarantee Beyonce didn’t say put a RINK on it.
Plural of You. Referring to a more that one person. The pinnacle of ignorant grammar.
I came across this article….
it gave me a good giggle. Being in the position that I am in, I see some strange things and I completely understand the position these ladies are in. It’s weird, it’s like we women lose our ability to understand right from wrong when it comes to weddings? What is the G-O?? I think there should be some rules. Here is my list, I’m going to call it:
Dont Go Bat Shit Crazy – An Outsiders View on Weddings
Yes, it is the biggest day of your life, some of you have probably dreamed of this day since you were a little girl and now Mr Right has come along and the planning has started. You’ve found the venue, discussed the menu, got your church or celebrant booked but here are some little things that you should consider:
The Dress: Look, sweetheart necklines don’t always look good – actually, I reckon it’s pretty hard to pull off – just putting it out there. Just because most dresses are strapless, that doesn’t mean one size fits all – no no no ladies. When looking at this style of dress in magazines, just check out the size of the models….. again, just sayin….. Tuckshop arms……. just sayin……
Shoes: Love, if you don’t really wear heels, why wear them that day? I know they are pretty and sparkly but at least practice in them and don’t kick them off before the reception? It’s not a good look seeing a bride wobble down the aisle and then carry your shoes around. And let’s be honest, no one remembers your shoes!
Make Up: Practice Run! If you don’t wear a lot of make up usually, don’t go all hooker like for the day cause let me tell you, this is something everyone will remember and comment about!! If your make up artists name is Madam Misty Rosy Cheeks Delite and has a suspicious lump in her throat, you probably won’t get subtle make up – do your research! Oh, and waterproof mascara – do I need to explain??
Hair: See Above!!!
Decorations: It starts out just a few bits and pieces here and there, then it multiplies, then it multiplies some more, then it takes on a life of its own – ladies, sometimes just a few bits and pieces are enough. Hey I’m a fan of a bargain, trust me, but just because you can get it on the cheap, doesn’t always make it the best choice.
The Cake: Apparently this is a big deal. Look, we all look at the cake, we all take photos of it and I tell you what, we will remember what it tastes like – um well actually, no we won’t. By the time the cake comes out, most of our mouths are numb from a few hours of drinking and really, if we box it up and take it home, we’re probably going to eat it hungover and it will be the best thing ever – so about the cake, don’t worry about it too much.
Piss Fart Drunk: Fine line isn’t there. Firstly, eat that day. Yes it’s a stressful day – although it really doesn’t need to be and if you get on it too early, chances are Piss Fart Bride is on her way. Piss Fart Bride had her day on her Hens Day, best she keep it a distant memory on her big night – but hey, if it’s really good champagne, well all bets are off right? You may be Piss Fart Bride but no-one really needs to know – one foot in front of the other……… Oh and heads up, back to those shoes, heels will not be your friend right now!
Bridezilla: Oh yes, that’s right, don’t become the Bridezilla! Everyone knows it’s your day and your people are on your side and are there to help you.
So, that’s just a little advice but look, it’s your day, bloody enjoy it – dress as you want, do what you want, get a bubble machine, smoke machine and throw glitter everywhere, eat, drink and be merry because it really is all about you!