For My Boys

This is a hard one.

I don’t know what happens or what comes over me, but sometimes I can’t even stand myself and wonder how these kids even like me at times.  Some of the thing’s that come out of my mouth are just wrong, I know it, I hear it but they are out and the damage is done.  I get frustrated and impatient and this rubs off on to both of them but especially Moomoo.

Moomoo and I had a doozy of a fight yesterday over, well it’s stupid, over feeding the cat.  Everyday, Monkeyboy feeds Dame Esmerelda in the morning, and Moomoo feeds her at night.  Yesterday I tried to shake things up and asked Moomoo to feed her. Well, Shut The Gate, this way not acceptable.  This pretty much caused all out war between us.

There was screaming, yelling, swearing (from me, I’ll admit it – and don’t even think about judging me) and tears.  Now just imagine if I walked away – wow, that would have helped right?  I can put it down to hormones, frustration, morning – look all of these things combined but really, I just lose my shit and regret it.

Dawn came and picked up the boys yesterday as they are going down the coast to stay at the Hotel de Palmby and when Moomoo said good bye, he apologized for our fight in the morning, Broke-My-Heart.  To think that he had been hanging on to that all day just made me feel worse.  Yes he could have helped out and fed The Dame, but really, this one is on me.

I know I need to learn to not over react (Dawn, I love you, feel free to bite your toungue xx) but this Parental Gig gets you down sometimes.  Kids are quite selfish little beasts however, they don’t always recognize that either.  We tell the boys that to be part of this family, they need to help out which includes doing jobs around the place.  Look they are very good.  They do:

  • Make their beds in the morning
  • Clean their rooms
  • Clean the play areas
  • Do the dishes
  • Feed the beasts
  • Help out around the yard

So they are pretty good.  Yes sometimes I have to ask, a lot, to do these things but generally they get them done.  When I have had my hormonal melt downs (gee I would like to say not regularly but that’d be a lie), I have asked Mr Cruisey for advice.  He said to me once, and before he said this he told me it was really hard for him to say it, he said that I can be harsh on the kids sometimes……. No yelling from here, just tears.  I know it but to hear it from the lover, well that’s a whole new reality.

So to wrap things up, I love the boys to the moon and back and we are, I’d say anyway, we are very close.  There is a lot of hugs, kisses, farts, giggles, cupcakes, playing, music, dance, boystuff in our world.  There is also blues and tears but my boys also make me want to be a better person.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lt3IOdDE5iA

John Lennon – Beautiful Boy

 

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About itsnotjustmeright

It's Not Just Me Right? Coping with life, venting, ranting, raving, laughing and giggling along the way.
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4 Responses to For My Boys

  1. I’ve totally been there. I know it sucks, but I swear it must happen to all of us from time to time. Any mom who doesn’t have the occasional blow-up is secretly from another planet…or her kids are. Only way to handle it is to apologize and try to do better next time. Maybe taking deep breaths beforehand helps. I think it does for me when I remember to do so!

    Like

  2. Lyallz says:

    Oh my darling Chamas i have tears running down my face, this shit happens to me all the effing time. All I can say is ‘I FEEL YOUR PAIN’ …. Don’t be hard on yourself sweetheart those two boys of yours are so very lucky to have you as their mum *MWAH

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  3. Bec says:

    So I take it you may not have seen the boys for a few days….oh how the distance/time makes all of those indiscretions seem okay…been there, done that…weekly

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  4. Dawn says:

    Look at yourself and how you have turned out You are your mothers daughter Your boys will be fine Love ya x

    Like

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