I play netball on Monday nights. I’ve been playing for a few years now. Every Monday night, ladies social netball.
Now, our teams average age is around the 35 mark, this is the case for pretty much all of the teams. There are some young tikes that come through – all keen, kickin it with the old ducks….
We’re pretty good actually, we have won the grand final a couple of times, got the trophies to prove it so yeah, we go alright.
Anyway, as I said, this is social netball – social netball – kinda like friendly ish right – ah hell to the no! Apparently sometimes we play for the pig farms – and honestly, I ain’t a big fan of pigs!
There are women out there who would sell their kids to win the game. Not only will they sell their kids, they will stab you in the eye – yeah that’s right, directly-in-your-eye! They want you to see it coming! None of this turn around shite – right up in your face – in your eye! And then, they get their mates to back them up!
And the scream of the banshee – yes, similar to Mums on the sidelines of their kids rugby games, screaming banshees! Its starts out with words of encouragement ya know. Couple of goals up, all good. But then they turn! They are up their team mates – yes that’s right, their team mates!
‘Get up there’
‘Watch the rebound’
Sometimes it’s like Marco Pierre White is on the court
‘move, move, move’, ‘jump’ jump’ jump’, ‘rebounds, rebounds, rebounds’
Love, settle the fark down! IT IS JUST A GAME!
And after all the screaming and yelling settles down, it’s time to shake the oppositions hand as we leave the court – victorious or not, just shake hands love. Most girls do, some however look you in the eye and you know that they have just put a curse on you – ‘I curse you and your family’ it says in them there eyes!
And they hang around, bag us out, analyse the game, the mistakes, the blame – hey girls – again, just a game – there’s always next week to try to beat us (yes that’s right, ‘try’ to beat us – smack talk right there!).
So week after week, we show up, we run around like crazy women, we have some fun, we win some games but mostly, we just really enjoy ourselves. It gets a little fierce, there is some smack talk but overall – it’s a bloody good time!
Oh and did I mention, we are actually the lowest group on the ladder!!!!