Moomoo: Mum, I’ve got a black hair
Me: What do you mean?
Moomoo: I’ve got a black hair on my nuts
Me: What (be cool, close mouth, be cool) Are you sure, no you can’t, really? Are you sure? Show me
Moomoo: What ?? I’m not doing that
Me: Show me (do I really want to see, do I want to know – no of course yes I want to!!!)
Moomoo: See!! (Pants down, nuts grabbed in an unnaturally kinda painful looking way) Look!!!
Me: Wwwwwhoa. Um ok, cool mate (turn around very slowly, get shocked look off face, be cool……) So like, you boys don’t talk about these things at school do you (yep I already know the answer!!)
Moomoo: Yeah, of course we do. Quick, check my armpits, are there any hairs there yet?
Me: Um, ok, cool mate (be cool, be cool) Nope, not yet (phew)
Moomoo: Does that mean I’m hitting puberty? I don’t think I want to do that……
Me: Ahh…. (be cool) yeah sorry dude, no avoiding it.
And when he tells Mr Cruisey…..
Moomoo: Dad, I’ve got hair growing in an inappropriate place……….
Monkeyboy: Alot of old people have flash cars
Me: Yes sweetie, some of them are called a ‘Mid Life Crisis’ .