For Sale: 10-year-old boy.
Pros: He’s good-looking kid. Non smoker, non drinker. Good all round sportsman. He’s pretty intelligent when he applies himself (yeah that old chestnut) although homework can be a struggle at times. Responds well to black mail and threats most of the time. We’ve put in the hard yards and have equipped him with manners, he knows how to act in public with very few outbursts these days (they have been replaced with sullen sulky looks) Great sleeper – can fall asleep anywhere. Exceptional taste in music (Triple J listener from the cot) Arty, great on the Play station, iPod, tech savvy and did I mention he’s a good-looking kid (yep, we do make good babies Mr Cruisey and I) Interacts well with others and is overall mostly well behaved, except for his Mother (who has had enough!)
Cons: Prone to nagging, sulking, fighting with siblings, back chatting, whingeing, moaning, groaning – especially when asked to do something that is for anyone else other than himself and even then, it’s a bit touch and go. Generally, hygiene is pretty good although he does moan most days about showering and if he can get away with not cleaning his teeth, well you get the picture.
Look, I don’t mean to scare you off but I believe in fair trade so I have been honest. Generally, he’s ok but look, at the moment – I’d be prepared to give him to the highest bidder.
So let the bidding begin…..
(Disclaimer: This is not the child that is for sale however, this is the universal sulky look)