It’s like, we woke up one morning and this happened.
All the usual indicators are there – Mr Cranky Pants is hanging around more than usual, Mr Grunt has shown up and bathroom time is getting a little longer than usual – maybe not in the way you are thinking although I know that is coming. No, it’s the amount of time he is spending in there looking for hair. Let me paint you a picture.
I walk into the bathroom….
Me: Er, what ya doin Moomoo.
Moomoo: Looking for hair under my arms.
Me: Er, ok, don’t worry mate, it’ll come.
Moomoo: Well I’ve got hairy balls but I can’t show anyone that so I want the hair to come under my arms cause that’s what people can see.
Me: Silence………(left the room, told Mr Cruisey, sent a txt to Dawn and the sister freaking out a little about his balls…….)
And then there’s Sex Education. They are doing Sex Education at school. As Mr Cruisey said, ‘well it makes it a little easier for us’. Yes it does until we get the uncomfortable questions about our puberty experience and me saying that I might need to lie a bit about it and Mr Cruisey, well he’s being Mr Cruisey and honest and all and that is why through this whole puberty thing, he is going to rock it! We also get to hear about what is talked about in the lessons too like the time I picked him up from school and the conversation goes:
Me: Hi babes, how was your day today?
Moomoo: Good. Babies come out of your vagina.
Me: Monkeyboy is in the car.
Monkeyboy: Yeah, I’m in the car.
Moomoo: Yeah but…
Me: Well you both didn’t so that’s about enough of that and well……(flustered)………Monkeyboy is in the car
Monkeyboy: (rocking back and forth with his ears covered)…
And another time,
Moomoo: I got to feel a condom today.
Me: (giggles, leaves room)
Mr Cruisey: Did you get to put it on a banana.
Moomoo: No…(end of conversation)
And the brochures, holy moly. I picked one up called: Puberty and Boys. I sat on his bed, read it, kinda giggled, nearly cried, took it straight out to Mr Cruisey and told him that these are conversations that he is going to need to deal with, I retreat back into my own little happy place…..
So the puberty monster has started to rear it’s ugly, hairy, hormonal, crazy face and I can only surmise that we are in for one hell of a journey!
(Yes of course I will keep you updated….)