Bad Neighbours….

Dearest Neighbour,

So, it’s been a year, my oh my where has the time gone.  I remember when you rocked up and introduced yourself on the very first day we were here.  You did the whole, ‘if you need anything’ or ‘wanna come over for a coffee’ deal, it was nice but let’s be honest, soooo not gonna happen.  It was great meeting your kids as they were hanging over the fence asking to play with the boys.  The boys were polite and told them no because they are a bit younger than them but that didn’t stop them hanging over the fence….a lot….actually, an uncomfortable amount of time but hey, that’s what kids do right?

Since we have been here, we have utilized the deck a fair bit with dinners and BBQ’s and yes, the odd party.  We start our parties early cause well, we’ve all got kids and we try to be very mindful of our neighbours and I reckon even you would agree with me that we haven’t really cranked things up much.  I apologize for Mr Cruisey bringing out the guitar and amp at 8.30pm at the last party, playing 3 songs and then shutting it down.  It was my birthday and I think he thought he was serenading me however, I, like you, thought it was a little loud and he shut it down.  You must have thought it was way over the top because I guess that was the reason that you called the police.  Geez, in all the parties over all the years, the police have never rocked up so thanks for that.  Although they did agree with me that even they couldn’t tell that there was a party going on because it was pretty quiet but lucky for you, your kid got to go to bed so he could get up to do some fence climbing.

And as you know, we do have two boys and The Moose.  They like to kick the ball around and we like to throw the ball to The Moose.  Now I apologize that at times the various balls have found their way into your yard but I’m curious as to why you don’t just throw them back over?  Like, what do you need a dog’s ball over your side for?  Thanks for throwing it back over when you did possibly hear Mr Cruisey ask why you don’t throw the balls back.  And I’m sorry that the boys kick the ball too high sometimes and it ends up in your yard.  I know they use their manners when they come over to your house to ask if they can get their ball so I am curious as to why you thought it was ok to tell them that you are ‘sick of the fucken ball coming over the fence and next time it comes over I’m going to fucken pop it’?  I mean hey lady, they used their manners right?

Now, you may hear my having a subtle word to them now and then but lady, you ain’t got no right to swear at my kids!  I think that you may be frustrated or something.  I can suggest that maybe you take a look at this website  http://www.positivelypink.com.au/ – maybe get a couple of friends over?  Or maybe this one http://www.eharmony.com.au/ or could I suggest maybe just doing it the old-fashioned way and go out, get drunk and get laid – you never know, it might do you the world of good.

I haven’t mentioned it before but I would appreciate it if you cat didn’t come over here, beat Dame Esmerelda up, steal her food and crap in our yard.  The Dame has been beaten up pretty bad by your crazy fat white cat so a Nerf gun will be kept by the door and it’s ok, i won’t call the police.

So for the really good news, we ain’t going anyway anytime soon and I look forward to having that cup of coffee and possibly hanging out in the future……NOT!

Yours sincerely,

Your Stuck With Us xx

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About itsnotjustmeright

It's Not Just Me Right? Coping with life, venting, ranting, raving, laughing and giggling along the way.
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3 Responses to Bad Neighbours….

  1. Ah, so entertaining. And I feel so sorry for you. Except for when you shoot the neighbor cat with the nerf gun. That just sounds like fun.

    Like

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