It’s so weird. I remember babydom. I remember lack of sleep, 2 babies in nappies, constant bottle rotation, constant feeding, constant crapping and when you are strung out and people are saying to you ‘cherish these moments they go so quick’ and you just want to throat punch them, oh yeah, those were fun times. But you get through ya know. Ya get through all the moments and people say ‘oh it’s gets worse’ and those are the same people that you want to throat punch because when you’re in the moment, you really don’t want to hear crap like that. You are just hanging on and are hoping thing’s get better.
Well, I’m sorry to you but the thing is……It does get better….And then it gets worse…….And then it gets better…….And then it gets worse……Do you see a pattern here???? Life folks, it’s life. Shit is going to happen but one thing I have noticed now that the kid has hit the teens is this – I have a giant toddler. I have a giant toddler with the upper body of a boyish manchild that is starting to change right before my eyes yet he has the attitude of a toddler! You need proof – well here it is:
You know when a toddler throws itself around because it can’t get its own way and the world has ended? Teens have tantrums. Big sooky ‘I hate you’ tantrums. Or loud ‘I hate you’ throwing shit around tantrums. They both think the world revolves around them and if they don’t get their own way – Tantrum.
The Witching Hour:
5.00pm was always the Witching Hours for us – well that was the beginning of The Witching Hour and that could last for an hour or 3. For teens, the Witching Hour now becomes hours………They can be broken down like this:
- Morning: From when they open their eyes until they walk out the door for school
- Afternoon: When they get home and can’t find anything to eat because ‘there’s nothing to eat in this house’. This usually continues until they are fed at dinner time.
- Evening: Usually occurs when teen is asked to do the dishes or if their homework is done or when they need their before bedtime feed. Which brings me to the next similarity……
Food / Eating
Toddlers kinda eat smallish meals regularly right. Teens seem to eat breakfast and from what I gather, don’t each much during the day and then constantly eat from the minute they get home until they go to bed. The grocery bill goes up and up and up and from what I hear from grown up manchildren is that they are amazed that they didn’t send their parents broke with what they ate – oh yeah, good times ahead.
Remember the baby smell? Remember when you could kiss and snuggle the baby. Play games with the baby and stick their feet in your mouth (seriously, we all did it) but once they put shoes on when they were a toddler – no need for feet to go anywhere near the mouth. And they started to smell like a human and there was always some lingering food on shirt kinda smell. Well teens – same thing. Never go near the teens feet. They start to smell funky and that is usually always covered up by too much ‘body spray’ yo heads up, body spray is not deodorant!!!
Toddlers make mess. Toddlers drop shit everywhere. You know where a toddler has been cause they leave a trails of shit. Teens make mess. Teens drop shit everywhere. You know where a teen has been cause they leave a trail of shit. End. Of.
So there ya go. For every stage that you get through, don’t be surprised when exactly the same behaviour rears its ugly head again. Teens are toddlers. Just a bigger manchild version.